The Fantasy and Necessity of Safety

On trauma, triggers, and living with constant fear

*The title of this post is inspired by Sarah Schulman’s new book The Fantasy and Necessity of Solidarity, which should be in your ‘to read’ pile. But otherwise this post has nothing to do with her new book. Although one of my previous posts did.*

It has been a year since my last panic attack.

It has been a year since I started psychiatric medications.

It has been a year since I broke up with my previous therapist, who was pushing me to confront my trauma and triggers.

It has been a year since I stopped being polyamorous.

It has been a year of safety—the illusion and the reality of it.

American Jews talk a lot about safety these days. Some New Yorkers say Zohran Mamdani’s mayoralty will leave them unsafe. University students say their institutions have not kept them safe from antisemitism. The organization If Not Now has a campaign called “Jews for Shared Safety,” suggesting that safety for Israelis and Palestinians (and all people) is necessary and even possible.

But this post isn’t about…